Kitchen Adventures, or, "Who Let Kate in Here Again?"

"This fudge recipe is so easy!" claimed the blog. "Just a few simple ingredients, a few pulses in the food processor, and voila!"

And I, craving a chocolate fix, believed the lying rat bastard optimistic report. I suppose I am partly to blame for the debacle that followed. After all, step one did say to warm the coconut oil until it was "mostly melted," and I melted it all the way. But then, step two said to "add the melted oil" to the other ingredients, so I suppose the "mostly" flew out of my brain. Besides that, I don't think "mostly melted" oil would have had much of a different outcome.

The problem? The cocoa-and-sugar part refused to accept the oil. I even let the concoction sit for ten minutes to see if the adverse ingredients might become more ameliorated to one another. And they didn't. So I transferred the big lump to a glass measuring cup and warmed it in a water bath, in the hopes that I could get it malleable enough to allow the oil to get mixed in. It seemed to be working, but then it didn't. The spoon wasn't doing the trick. So I transferred it to a bowl and brought out the beaters... which promptly got the concoction stuck in their rungs. In final desperation, I put the lump directly in a saucepan and stuck the burner on low heat.

And waited.

And stirred.

And waited some more.

And stirred some more.

And finally, it started to loosen up. So I added a little of the oil, and it stirred in! And I added a little more. And the sugar-stuff had decided that it had had enough, that punk. So I poured the loose oil back into a cup and, in utmost irritation, brought out my secret ingredient: heavy cream. Hey, if the sugar paste isn't going to soften, it'll certainly dissolve. And it did, and it became glossy and lovely and accepted the rest of its coconut oil little by little (mainly because I added another dose of cream every time the oil stopped mixing in).

Then, the whole mixture went into a foil-lined pan and into the freezer, and half an hour later, voila!

Nothing like the original recipe.

But I still cut it up. It was just the right texture for forming into truffles, which I then rolled either in pecan pieces or cocoa powder before I got bored and just finished cutting squares. (A grand total of five six truffles I made, hahaha.)



When it comes to the kitchen, I often mess things up royally, but I do make some nice recoveries from time to time. And I got my chocolate fix in the end, so that's all that really matters.

(If I feel up to it, I'll add a picture tomorrow. If not, use your imagination.)
Edit, 3:45pm: I wasn't lazy!